Something else that is bad for my goals? Falling while walking the dogs, mutilating my face with pavement, and ending up in the e.r. getting stitches inside my mouth and by my eye.
At least, it has been bad for the walking goal. That sort of ended the walk early on Wednesday morning. I promised my parents I wouldn't walk again until at least the stitches were gone, and honestly, I wasn't really up to it on Thursday or Friday. By Saturday, the dogs were going absolutely stir crazy and I was too, so I did go out for a short walk Saturday and I might go out again today. It is a beautiful day.
It is amazing how draining that kind of pain in your face is, though. Wow. There is nothing between your face and your brain to interrupt the pain message, so it is really intense.
So, this event kind of proved my point about not taking physical risks...Walking. It is a fairly safe activity, and I really could have been hurt much worse. I was lucky in terms of the injuries (although, some would argue if I was lucky, I wouldn't have fallen at all!) I didn't break anything, I didn't lose any teeth, I didn't hurt my eye (the cut was very close to it). I just was in pain and looked like a monster. Imagine what could happen if I tried skiing!
But I still haven't taken the emotional risk I've talked about. I have not said what I want to say to the person I want to say it to, and as time goes by, I am more and more sure that I won't do it. I will regret it someday, I know that I will, but even knowing that it is a future regret doesn't help me find the courage to do it. I have to accept that this is a goal I will always struggle with, and keep working on it.
As far as some of my other goals:
By the time I got to the e.r., I was already finding humor in my situation and was even able to kind of joke with the nurses and the doctor. I think I'm doing pretty well with the laughing more and being angry less thing. I never even got mad at Solomon for tripping me.
I've barely eaten real food since Wednesday. Mostly, I've been drinking tea, but still, Mountain Dew is super soothing and so very delicious. I've been struggling with the soda thing this week.
I do think I've made real progress with the apology thing. I've caught myself a few times this week, but I think I hear those words coming out of my mouth less and less all the time.
I have been writing. Not as much as I should or even could, but I have been making the effort. And I will write again today. One thing for sure, I can certainly still type even with a sore face.
I truly hope that this week is a more normal week, so I can really take stock of how things are going.
At least, it has been bad for the walking goal. That sort of ended the walk early on Wednesday morning. I promised my parents I wouldn't walk again until at least the stitches were gone, and honestly, I wasn't really up to it on Thursday or Friday. By Saturday, the dogs were going absolutely stir crazy and I was too, so I did go out for a short walk Saturday and I might go out again today. It is a beautiful day.
It is amazing how draining that kind of pain in your face is, though. Wow. There is nothing between your face and your brain to interrupt the pain message, so it is really intense.
So, this event kind of proved my point about not taking physical risks...Walking. It is a fairly safe activity, and I really could have been hurt much worse. I was lucky in terms of the injuries (although, some would argue if I was lucky, I wouldn't have fallen at all!) I didn't break anything, I didn't lose any teeth, I didn't hurt my eye (the cut was very close to it). I just was in pain and looked like a monster. Imagine what could happen if I tried skiing!
But I still haven't taken the emotional risk I've talked about. I have not said what I want to say to the person I want to say it to, and as time goes by, I am more and more sure that I won't do it. I will regret it someday, I know that I will, but even knowing that it is a future regret doesn't help me find the courage to do it. I have to accept that this is a goal I will always struggle with, and keep working on it.
As far as some of my other goals:
By the time I got to the e.r., I was already finding humor in my situation and was even able to kind of joke with the nurses and the doctor. I think I'm doing pretty well with the laughing more and being angry less thing. I never even got mad at Solomon for tripping me.
I've barely eaten real food since Wednesday. Mostly, I've been drinking tea, but still, Mountain Dew is super soothing and so very delicious. I've been struggling with the soda thing this week.
I do think I've made real progress with the apology thing. I've caught myself a few times this week, but I think I hear those words coming out of my mouth less and less all the time.
I have been writing. Not as much as I should or even could, but I have been making the effort. And I will write again today. One thing for sure, I can certainly still type even with a sore face.
I truly hope that this week is a more normal week, so I can really take stock of how things are going.
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