Notes on a self improvement project

So, what can I say about this week - and last?  I don't know.  At least, they weren't as bad as the last one I wrote about.  And in some ways, they were really good. In terms of the goals...I have gotten off track on a lot of them.  I am putting off the new recipes for awhile so I can save some money for the living room improvement project, so no progress on that one.  In my last blog, I said that I would try to focus on my "laugh more, be angry less" goal.  I think I might have been doing ok on this goal, except that last week at work, there were some developments that may affect me, quite negatively, at some point.  I am really concerned about this, so it has added yet another dark cloud to the sky above me, and it was already pretty crowded with dark clouds this month. I have tried to find things to laugh about in the last two weeks, and there have been some really good moments lately.  In particular, this weekend, I went with a friend to a...

So, yes.  Another bad week for a few reasons.  This bad week thing is starting to be a trend, and a trend that needs to change. It has been a full year since Dale's death.  So much has happened since then - sometimes it seems like it couldn't possibly have been only a year; sometimes it seems like it couldn't have been a year already.  I am still so conflicted about Dale.  I loved him.  I loved him very much.  But towards the end of our relationship, I think I hated him, too.  I was certainly extremely angry with him.  By the time I moved out, we were having horrible fights, and they were happening constantly. After I moved, things got better, but the anger has never really completely gone away - I think because I can't forget the reasons WHY I was so angry.  So many of the things that I was angry about still directly impact my life and my ability to get back on track.  So I am still constantly reminded of everything that happened...