Notes on a self improvement project

After a couple of glasses of wine last night, I've decided to do something that is really very brave or maybe really stupid, or maybe a little bit of both.   Also last night, I bought two pints of Ben & Jerry's and ate half of one of the pints.  I haven't indulged in wine AND B&J in...ever.  One or the other, yes.  Never both in one night.  And I haven't needed a night with my friends Ben and Jerry in years. So what was the reason for my sudden desire for really expensive yet delicious ice cream?  Of course, it is "The Guy."  Unless a miracle happens within the next few days, he is moving, and when he leaves, any hope for things to change with us will leave, too.  For me, this is yet another loss in a decade full of them.  I will now have lost my marriage, three pets, several friends, four or five jobs - some that I really, really liked - two homes, and my credit.  I've had to move from the city that I loved and all of my fri...

Today is Independence Day, and most people in our country are already deep in celebration.  For the first time since I was in college, I can say that I am truly independent, and most of the time, I feel that I can celebrate that.  Unfortunately, for the last few weeks, I have not found much to celebrate.   These two weeks have been the most disheartening since I have started this project, and I find myself more discouraged than I have been in a very long time.  There have been some incidents that I can identify that have really had an impact, and the anniversary of Dale's death is coming up, which I am sure has something to do with it.  Mostly, though, I am just generally feeling discouraged.  I have been trying to think positively for far too long, with no tangible benefit.  I am out of optimism and need a new supply. I was talking to a friend about my new recipe day project, which is, to me, one of the most important parts of this project, becaus...