I just don't know...

On Sunday night, Tom and I had a conversation via Words With Friends.

 Two nights before, we had talked about his daughter and then talked in general. It was a nice conversation that lasted a couple of hours. It felt so good to talk to him. It felt so natural. So right.

 I'll skip past the part where on Friday, his daughter told me that the ex-wife is moving back in. And how devastating that was to hear. Especially since he didn't say anything about it in our conversation. And I gave him the opening to do so.

 Fast forward to Sunday and the WWF game. I had a few drinks; apparently he had as well. For awhile, we were just talking smack with each other about the game, and then the conversation shifted to something else entirely.

 It became something really open. And honest. And intimate. It was a conversation I've wanted to have with a partner for pretty much my entire adult life.

 And here we were, having that conversation. It was amazing. Tom and I are having this conversation. Tom and I. Tom, the guy I feel so deeply for. The guy I have so much in common with. The guy I fell completely in love with. The guy who wants the same things in - and from-life that I want. The guy with the daughters I adore. The guy who totally broke my heart.

 All along, I felt that we really could have an incredible life together. After the conversation on Sunday, I know now that we could connect on another, totally different level. One that has been missing in every relationship I've been in. One I've always wanted and never really had.

 We really could have it all. We could build an amazing life together. It really could be almost perfect. We could be so good for each other.

 He said he wanted to continue this conversation. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. 

 Apparently, he can. We haven't talked since. I sent him a picture of Othello's dinner a couple nights ago (long story) with no response. Nothing meaningful in WWF. Crickets.

 I don't understand so many things about this. I don't understand how things could be so easy and so right between us and then change so fast. I don't understand how you can have something so good and so healthy and then go back to something that you know is neither good nor healthy. I don't understand how you can have a conversation like we had on Sunday and then walk away from it like it meant nothing.

 There are some universal truths out there. No matter where you go or how old you get, these things never change. You can always count on them. I guess that one of those truths is that boys are just weird.

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