Sunday after WAAL 2012, and all I can say is that conferences are very very bad for many of my goals. Except for one that I don't know I actually talked about here before. A long time ago, I created a goal to not avoid things simply because I am afraid - except for being afraid because of possible physical injury. Physical injury, in my case, is a really reasonable fear. If anyone ever follows this blog and actually knows me, you know that I really should be afraid of physical injury. I hurt myself getting out of bed sometimes. Things like sky diving or skiing or roller blading are all probable death sentences for me.
What I meant by this was to take emotional or mental risks, let people see me and hear my thoughts, and not worry about what people think about it. And that is one of the things I did this week at WAAL. One of my colleagues asked me and another librarian with Globe to present with her, and I agreed. Not all that long ago, I would have have agreed to help get the presentation together, but I would never have agreed to speak. But I did it. And it was okay. Although at midnight, 9 hours before our presentation time, it didn't seem like it would be. Christina and I worked on it until about 4:00 a.m. I didn't fall asleep until around 5:30 or so, we had to be up at 7:00 a.m. But it really did work out. People seemed to enjoy the presentation, we had a much larger crowd than we expected. I would have been physically ill at the thought of speaking to a crowd like that not too long ago. We did it, though, and I am so proud that I was able to.
Many other things, though, was a little derailed. I didn't walk the dogs for three days, I drank way too much soda and ate way too much. I didn't clean the house this weekend, I probably won't get too much writing in. I spent all day yesterday trying to make up for the lack of sleep at the conference, and slept way too late this morning. All and all, though, I'm so glad I went and participated on the level that we did.
There is someone I really want to open up to, take one of those emotional risks. But I am incredibly terrified to do it. I am pretty sure it won't work out the way I want it to. I know if I live up to this goal, I should take the risk, but I probably won't. And I will always wonder what would have happened if I had. Which is why I created the goal in the first place, so I wouldn't have regrets about things I didn't do. Usually I like irony, but this time, not so much.
What I meant by this was to take emotional or mental risks, let people see me and hear my thoughts, and not worry about what people think about it. And that is one of the things I did this week at WAAL. One of my colleagues asked me and another librarian with Globe to present with her, and I agreed. Not all that long ago, I would have have agreed to help get the presentation together, but I would never have agreed to speak. But I did it. And it was okay. Although at midnight, 9 hours before our presentation time, it didn't seem like it would be. Christina and I worked on it until about 4:00 a.m. I didn't fall asleep until around 5:30 or so, we had to be up at 7:00 a.m. But it really did work out. People seemed to enjoy the presentation, we had a much larger crowd than we expected. I would have been physically ill at the thought of speaking to a crowd like that not too long ago. We did it, though, and I am so proud that I was able to.
Many other things, though, was a little derailed. I didn't walk the dogs for three days, I drank way too much soda and ate way too much. I didn't clean the house this weekend, I probably won't get too much writing in. I spent all day yesterday trying to make up for the lack of sleep at the conference, and slept way too late this morning. All and all, though, I'm so glad I went and participated on the level that we did.
There is someone I really want to open up to, take one of those emotional risks. But I am incredibly terrified to do it. I am pretty sure it won't work out the way I want it to. I know if I live up to this goal, I should take the risk, but I probably won't. And I will always wonder what would have happened if I had. Which is why I created the goal in the first place, so I wouldn't have regrets about things I didn't do. Usually I like irony, but this time, not so much.
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