What I really want to say to a certain someone at the moment

So, here is what I want to say to him given the chance:

What the fuck are you thinking? How did you let your life get to this point?

Let's review, shall we?

A little less than two years ago, you were fairly unhappily married to a woman who cheated on you multiple times, who trashed your house, who didn't help you keep up the house or contribute to the household, who spent money on things like a dog which required you to sell things like your car, who made little effort to get to know your daughters and who didn't encourage you to have a healthy relationship with them, who was negative and made you miserable - you told me about some of these fights even before we were together. Then, eventually, she actually had you arrested for something you say you didn't do, and left you in jail for two nights. After that, you decided, for many very good reasons, to get a divorce.

Then, we got together. We had a great relationship. We talked all the time, we got to really know each other.

For maybe the first time in your life, you were loved - completely, totally, wholeheartedly, sincerely loved - not for what I could get from you or what you could do for me, but for who you are.  You were loved by someone who is smart, and funny, and relatively responsible, mostly nice...Someone who could actually be a good partner for you. Someone who could help you accomplish your goals. Someone who wants a goat farm as much as you do. Someone who could help provide a home for you and your daughters. Someone who would help you solve your problems, and do everything possible not to be a problem to solve. Someone who was already what most people look for in a relationship - a friend, a lover, and a partner.

And I love your daughters. I totally and completely love them. I would do anything I possibly could to help them. To make them happy. I want to be a mother to them. I want to give them all the love and stability and security they need. I would do all in my power to protect you and make all of you safe and healthy and secure.

But you gave all of that up, because of the inconvenience of a 5 hour drive between us. Instead of trying to figure out how to not have the distance, you gave up everything we could have together. You said you couldn't move in with me here because you couldn't be that far away from your girls. You said you needed to be close to them because of the situation at their mom's house with Chris. And you assumed that I couldn't or wouldn't move (without talking to me about it. I hate that, btw, when people decide things about what I want or will or won't do, things about my life, without talking to me).

So, time goes on and eventually the situation with Chris implodes and Beth kicks the girls out to live with you. They are away from Chris, like you wanted, and living with you, like you wanted. There couldn't be less distance. They are as close to you as they can possibly be. This is great, right?

Apparently not, because shortly thereafter, you let Heather - the woman you divorced for really good reasons, your daughters hate for what seem like really good reasons, and who seems to have no real affection for your kids - move in.

In just a little while after that, K moves back to her mom's. Why? One reason is that because living with mom's psycho boyfriend - the guy you were so worried about that you needed to be close to your daughters - was preferable to living with Heather. So one daughter is no longer as close as she could be, and is back in the very living situation that you thought was so unhealthy before, because she sees it as actually healthier than the home you are providing with Heather.

So more time goes by, we start talking again. 

We talk for awhile, and it is good, and you think about starting over again with me, but then you get a job, and decide no. It's a job you don't like, you don't want, and you want to quit. It's a job you wouldn't have to have if you had moved in with me.

But, whatever. You stay at the horrible job. More time goes on. We're talking again, have a great birthday for P, talk again. You decide you want Heather out of your house; I help you compose an eviction letter.  You agree to spend time with P, K, Jake and me for my birthday. Then, like two days later, you tell me that you sort of met someone and we couldn't go. You decide to disappoint me for my birthday and New Year's Eve (again) and disappoint your kids, so you can, as it turns out, spend NYE with Heather. Awesome.

Meanwhile, your daughter is so unhappy with the living situation with Heather that she is thinking about moving somewhere else until Heather leaves. Daughter #2 wants to leave because living with no parent at all seems to her to be a better option than living with Heather. You had both of your daughters as close as you could possibly have them, and soon they will both be gone because you've chosen to put Heather back in your life and your home. They are farther away from you now than they would have been if you had moved in with me last year - because now, they both feel that you chose her over them.

Now, just a few days later, apparently, you no longer want Heather out of your house, you are now talking home renovations with her, you are spending New Year's Eve together, and you are apparently now with her, and you want P to come home because Heather -the woman that you divorced for very good reasons, the woman your daughters hate for what seem to be very good reasons, and the woman who just a few weeks ago called your daughter a slut, whore and cunt - isn't so bad.

So again, I ask you, what the fuck are you thinking?

What makes the life you've chosen better than in the life I've offered you multiple times now?

What exactly has changed in the last two years? Is Heather a different person? Will she be faithful to you now? Has she stopped lying to you? Has she stopped stealing from your daughter? Will she help you make your life better? Will she help you build a happy, healthy, secure home for your kids? You've told me multiple times that she isn't a good parent to her own kids, but you want her to be involved in your kids' lives? Why do you think this is a good idea? Please explain this to me, because I really don't get it.